Back to Busy

So, as you can tell, I have all three of my kiddos back. Hence going from blogging every night to blogging IF I get a minute to breathe before bed. Anyway, my final Link update! We got to bring him home from the hospital on Saturday. They took him completely off of oxygen the night before and he did really well. I was so excited to have him home! The first thing I did was give him a bath, since 1) he hadn't had one in about a week, and 2) he smelled like medicine. Lilly and Ellie came home not too long after, and it was so nice to have everyone back together. Granted, my anxiety level skyrocketed.

Since getting back to "normal," things have been mostly good. But I won't lie, I've been struggling. Being bipolar is so NOT fun. I've crashed over the past few days. My mom and Jeff have been out of town, so I've been for real on my own with the kids, house, pets, life... Last night, the babies got up almost every hour, whether it be to eat, fuss, or whine about a lost binky. I was literally in tears by morning. I've been trying to do the feedings by myself, so Ryan can get his much-needed sleep, since he works. But at around 4 AM, I just couldn't do it anymore, and sobbed at his bedside, begging him to feed Link. Yeah, total meltdown. I'm happy to have the kids home and healthy, but I'm not so emotionally healthy right now. It's been so hard.

Despite being extremely depressed (yay postpartum depression! NOT!), I surprised myself today. I dragged my lazy butt out of bed and put on my happy face for the kids. I've been working really hard to get them all on their normal routines, after having been with grandparents or in the hospital. Today happened to be the twins' 1st monthiversary, so I even managed to take some pictures. Everyone keeps telling me that I need to do monthly, themed pictures like I did with Lilly, but it's proving to be much harder with two fussy babies. Once I gave up on that, I got everyone fed and down for naps. I should have tried to nap myself, but I'm still too constantly anxious and bummed-out to shut down mentally. So, instead, I decided to wander the house, cleaning up Lilly messes and doing chores. It always feels good to clean. It helps me emotionally heal.

As if my day wasn't already crazy enough, I had to take Link into his pediatrician for his RSV follow-up. It was my first time taking all three kids out by myself. It only took me an hour and a half to get the diaper bag prepped and kids changed and loaded into the car. I was dripping with sweat. Who needs the gym when you have twins?? And if we ever get a house, maybe I'll get one with less stairs. The doctor said Link is looking great and that he's well on his way to being healthy once again. After the checkup, I had to pick up prescriptions at the grocery store, and just decided to suck it up and do my grocery shopping. Lilly's favorite thing is to push the little kid-size carts, and I was more than happy to oblige, since I had to push a cart full of just babies. This grocery shopping trip was one for the books. Everyone that saw me with newborn twins AND a crazy cart-crashing toddler, stopped to say something. My favorite was one woman who stopped and said "awe, cute baby!....oh! Babies! TWINS! Oh my, you're so brave!" Then as she walked away, she yelled out "YOU GO, GIRL!!" I felt like a celebrity for a second. The checkout lady chatted my ear off about how great I look for having just had twins. I get that comment a lot, and it always makes me laugh. First off, people don't know what I looked like before babies, so how can they say I look great? And I look great "for having twins"? Isn't that kind of rude-sounding? Like "well, I guess since you had two babies sucking the life out of you, instead of one, you look okay..." I swear, some people are just so fascinated with the fact that I'm actually out of the house (wearing makeup!) with three kids. Yes, sometimes I'm just as shocked, but for me, it mostly feels normal. Lilly is such a good helper, so it's not so bad. I survived the trip, but won't be making anymore until everyone is healthy again....so never. Ha!

Finally home! I bet you're surprised to see him NOT being held. It was hard for me to put him down, but I had to get Lilly settled. About the bear...Ryan and I went out on Friday and made each baby a bear at Build a Bear. My intent was to take their monthly pictures with them, so you can see the size change. Lilly instantly found them and insisted that he nap with it. 

I kid you not, Snickers thinks the babies are her puppies. That's actually what I call them. She's always glued to them, and is quite defensive of anyone approaching. 

So peaceful. I bet he loved not being at the hospital anymore.

Lilly's in a princess phase right now. She always wants to wear her "pwincess dress" (her church dresses), and won't even go to sleep unless we let her wear it over her jammies. 

Yeah, I'd say she missed them. She actually wouldn't eat until all the kids were back home. Poor thing. 

Reunited! His first morning home, he diarrhea'd all over me, and once I had changed clothes from that, Ellie projectile vomitted on me. Have I mentioned it's so nice to have them home??

I love their faces in this one. They're suddenly so responsive to people. Ellie LOVES Lilly (I think from being with her 24/7 for the past week while we were at the hospital with Link). so any time Lilly talks, Ellie will smile. It's so sweet!

I was putting the babies down for a nap, and had to run downstairs to get Ellie's blanket. As I walked downstairs, I heard Lilly chatting with them. On my way back up the stairs, she was coming out of their room, shut their door and said "it's okay, mommy, I already put them to sweep." This is what I found when I went in. She is so insistent on them always having their bears...even if they suffocate. 

Of course, the second we got to the doctor, both babies were screaming to be fed and Lilly had to go potty. I wish I had more hands!! Sometimes I just have to improvise! 

Thank goodness for these little kid carts. Otherwise I would have had to push two carts. She had a blast, so I think future grocery shopping trips may not be as hard.