3rd Annual

My favorite Christmas tradition has become going to Ryan's friend's Christmas party. There's always a silly white elephant present theme, lots of food, and TONS of laughs. In the past, we've generally won the white elephant contest, and this year, I thought we rocked it. The theme of the party was "The most useful bathroom item you don't already use daily." Before I could even finish reading the invite, Ryan told me he already bought the present. When I saw what it was, I couldn't stop laughing!!

Our white elephant gift was the Potty Putter. As if Ryan doesn't already take forever in the bathroom, now he can practice his golf skills, too. I was SO positive we were going to win. One of the rules of the white elephant exchange is that the wrapping will also be taken into consideration when judging. At first I was going to wrap it in pads. But, being lazy, I just decided to wrap it with Winnie the Pooh paper. Get it? Winnie the POO! Ha! I also made a little star decoration out of tampons and sparkly ribbon. Everyone loved it.  

Again, as is tradition, we made sure we were the first people to arrive, since Dave (the party host) usually rewards punctuality with getting to pick last in the white elephant gift exchange. As the white elephant gift games began, I started to feel more and more confident about our gift. Someone brought Cars soap and a waterproof kid's book. Another person brought a "Happy Wife" gift bag, filled with chocolate, "sex soap," plastic champagne glasses, some sparkling cider, and a candle. One of my favorites was the "What Does Your Poop Say About You?" book. It was the adult version of "Everyone Poops," I guess. Then the unexpected happened. Someone brought a toilet seat, which they put vinyl lettering all over. They called it the "Man Trainer." When you opened up the seat, it read "Don't you dare pee in that hole! Lift the seat!" Then the seat itself read "Your aim ain't good enough to miss this seat!" And the underside of the seat said "When you're done, please flush and close the lid. Thank you!" Except, "you're" was spelled "your," and the typo drove me nuts!! Since we were going to get to pick last, I had free range of any of the gifts that I wanted, and I would have wanted the toilet seat, were it not for the typo. Dang!! 

Everyone loved our Potty Putter, but I got the feeling that they loved the Man Trainer more. And then Dave had to ruin it all. He put together the "Bathroom Experience Kit." Not only that, he had prepared a 20 minute speech about why it was the winner. Side note: another rule to the white elephant gifts...your explanation of the gift counts too. So, Dave was hoping his pitch would win everyone over. Inside the "Bathroom Experience Kit," there was the same Potty Putter that we brought, an inappropriate loofa that read "FACE" on one side, and "A**" on the other. There was also a waterproof notepad set, since "all of our best ideas come to us in the shower." The icing on the cake was a package of bacon Bandaids, because "bacon makes everything better!!" Dangit. He blew ours out of the water. When the time came for me to pick, I picked the "Bathroom Experience Kit," since the typo on the toilet seat was still bugging me....and, secretly, I wanted a Potty Putter for our guest bathroom. Haha! When it was time to vote, the Man Trainer tied, surprisingly, with the "Happy Wife" bag. After the white elephant fun was over, we played a game called "Compatibility." It's basically the same as Apples to Apples, just with pictures. Ryan and I won, and our prize was a wireless speaker and a gift card. We have been letting Lilly play with the putter and golf balls from the Potty Putter.

I sure do love going to the annual Przybyla Christmas party. One of these times our gift will win 1st place!!

Gotta stick in a selfie! I got my hair cut that morning, and I was feelin' mighty purdy!

Oh man, this is the funniest thing ever!