You Are My Sunshine

Lilly's absolute favorite thing is when I sing her "You Are My Sunshine". I change it up a bit and say "You make me happy, all the time. You'll never know, dear, how much I love you, please don't take my Lilly away." Well, she was totally my sunshine today when my day seemed so dark. I got some devastating news today and, let's just say, dramatically, that one of my dreams was crushed. I tried to stay positive, especially for Lilly. I managed pretty well at first. I was laying in bed, silently crying, Lilly laying on my chest, when she looked up at me and smiled. I realized that she was the brightest light in my life. I tried to put on a smile just for her. Granted, when Ryan got home to take me to a doctor's appointment, I lost it in the car and ended up bawling the whole way, but hey, everyone needs a good cry. The day got progressively better, though. He clicked into hubby mode and pulled the whole "where do you want to go for lunch? We'll go anywhere you want. You say it, I'll make it happen" card. I wanted to pout, but couldn't help laughing. I wanted to see what he would do, so I said "actually, I want to eat myself to death at a Chinese food buffet, leave the baby with someone else, go home and cry myself to sleep, and never wake up." He chuckled. We ended up going to B-dubs for some wings...and never-ending Diet Coke. Today was one of those days where I just needed a Diet Coke.

 When we got home, I decided to try and ignore how depressed the day left me feeling, and make some cookies for our neighbors. Well, I didn't know it was possible, but the vegetable shortening was moldy. GROSS! I scrapped cookies and took Lilly to the bedroom for a nap...and that's where Ryan found us when he got home. He packed up baby and ran to the grocery store for more shortening while I made popcorn chicken for dinner. A few hours and a double-batch of cookies later, my mood had slightly improved. We spent the last hour going door to door and introducing ourselves to our neighbors. Mostly I just wanted to pre-apologize for any noise they hear. I was also hoping that they would see that we had a baby, and maybe the crazy-loud kids that live around us would be told to be more quiet. We'll see how that goes...

 Anyway, I'm just trying to move forward from today. I realize I'm being cryptic about what happened. All I can really say is "story of my life." I plan and prepare, and try my best, but it feels like most everything I get my hopes up for just falls through. I'll just have to adjust and try to feel comfortable in my own skin from now on...

No chicken fingers for Lilly...only mommy fingers

So this is what asking for "extra ranch" gets you. Goodness!

My first batch of cookies in the new oven. They turned out perfectly! Ryan kept saying "mmm, these are amazing!" That's how you know they're good. Notice the gaps...Ryan stole a few

All of the neighbors we met had adorable, young kids. They all loved the still-warm cookies.