Last night didn't go so well. I kept vomiting and having issues, but I pushed through it and went into work anyway. My co-workers could see that I was off and in pain, and they kept urging me to call my doctor. I could only respond with "I can't. I have to finish my work or ***** will be upset and spread rumors about me". My intent was to go in today and show that I'm a hard worker, not the person they've been gossiping about. I sent out a harmless email to the co-worker I've been struggling with. A task that I do requires certain information for me to go off of, and she wasn't putting it in. She thought I was picking a fight and flipped out and told me I was being lazy. I showed my mom, and for the first time in my life, she stood up for me. The coordinator was the one being lazy. I could hear her and my mom in her office, yelling at each other. Then I was called in. It was intended to be a meeting with my mom, the coordinator, and I, to solve the current issue I was emailing about. It ended with me being attacked personally by both my mom and the coordinator. I couldn't defend myself because every time I tried, they told me to shut up, I was wrong, would tell me I was being dramatic. I just stood up and, between the tears, told her I quit. I was sick of being treated this way. I felt humiliated, used, hated, and disrespected. Now that coordinator can see how much she really took me for granted. I can't believe this happened today. I can't believe my mom would allow her own daughter, who was in pain, who was carrying her granddaughter, to be treated like that. I left bawling. BAWLING! Crying so hard, I couldn't get a word out. My mom and I just burned some bridges that may never be restored. I feel so hurt and upset. I'm not a quitter, I'm a fighter. I don't know what to do now. That job was the only thing holding me together. Now I'll only fall deeper into the pit of depression. I guess that's the only thing people want for me these days...
(Day 322)
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