Time to Vent

This morning was a good indication as to how my day would go, and what I'm assuming, my life will go. I had all of ten minutes to get ready this morning. I had to choose between my priorities: brush my teeth? go to the bathroom? brush my hair? change my underwear? pack a lunch? In the end, all I had time to do was brush my teeth. Ugh! Then I got to work just in time to hear about how much the car repair was going to cost us. Suffice it to say, I'm still crying. I think it's officially time to sell this piece of junk.

I find myself asking "why?" Why can't I just have things go my way? Why can't things just go smoothly? Why can't I just put one paycheck into savings? WHY!?!? Did I do something in my previous life that destined me to have such terrible luck? Have I not done some good things in THIS life that should make up for it? I've been through so much, yet it feels like it won't end. I don't want to live out my entire life thinking "why?" and not enjoying it. But it feels like it's going to be that way. Days like this make me want to give into my depression. I want to fall to my knees, letting the sorrow wrap around me like a blanket. I want to give up.

On a lighter note, my mom took me out to lunch....quite possibly the only bright light at the end of today's tunnel. I've been craving Thanksgiving dinner, and the only thing close was a sandwich from Paradise Bakery. It's got thick-cut oven roasted turkey with cranberries. And I won't forget about the oven-fresh cookie too. Please, sandwich, make me happy!



(Day 173)