Easton

Today is Easton's first birthday. As I write this post, I am in shock. I can't believe it's been a year. What a year. I'm not really sure how to feel. I'm sad. I'm happy. I'm blessed. I'm jealous. I don't know how to balance out what I'm feeling. I know that Easton was the turning point in my life. Without that sweet little baby, I wouldn't be where I am now. I would never change the fact that I got pregnant, the fact that I chose adoption, and especially never change the amazing family that adopted my baby. I have moments of weakness, where I sit and cry about everything. I find myself complaining about not getting to see everything he's going through, and about how much it hurts to try and let him go, but at the end of my little pity parties, I find myself always going back to the same conclusion. I know he's happy. I know he's got two parents that adore him more than anything in the world. I'm at peace with that. I can only hope that when he grows up, he'll be as happy with my decision as I am.

If I could tell him anything on this special day, it would be that I love him. I love him with all my heart; with the love of a mother and the sacrifice of a birthmother. I would tell him thank you. Thank you for blessing my life the way that he did. Happy birthday, sweet boy.