Reminiscing

I'm having a pity party. Everyone's invited! Another one of the tasks on my "to do" list was "sort through pictures". I have a big ol' box of them sitting around, half of them have fingers blurring part of the picture, are of random people that I don't know, or are just embarrassing enough to throw away. I didn't think this task would make me feel so lousy. I came across pictures from back in 2008. I was then 18 years old, and, in my opinion, at my very best...emotionally, physically, etc, etc. I still wanted to be a doctor and was on my way to doing so. But it's the physical aspect that had me wishing I could go back in time. I remember that the Natalie in these pictures was dealing with a lot of self confidence issues. I was working out every day, yet I remember that I still felt like I was fat. Oh how I was wrong! I found these two pictures, and I felt a pang of desire shoot through me. I wish I could have known then that I was truly beautiful. What I would give to be able to go back in time and tell myself to keep it up. I look at myself now and wonder how I'll ever return to that beauty. I'd say I was a good 80 lbs thinner in these pictures. Bleh, I feel sick just thinking about it. Oh well, all I can do is work my hardest, and maybe one day I'll feel as beautiful as I once looked.

LOOK AT ME!! This was in Alaska, right before I left for college

Senior picture