Someday

Someday I won't have to spend my entire day cleaning the most insignificant places that people will never see. Yep, that's what I did today. I think I have my mother and grandmother to thank for this crazy tendency. As I was scrubbing underneath the drawer in the fridge, a place I didn't even know existed or got dirty, I stopped....I thought to myself "why am I cleaning this?" It occurred to me that I've been spending so much time cleaning things that just don't matter. And to answer my question, I think it's because I can. Let me explain. I can't control my depression, I certainly can't control my weight (as hard as I've tried), so the only thing that I can force to have order is my house. Who knows if the knowledge of having the Koolaid stains scrubbed off the fridge, the loose crumbs in the cookie tray cabinet vacuumed out, or having clean windows really makes all that big of a difference to anyone but me, but all I know is that I like it. I feel content having order in my home. The other reason may be that it gives me something to do and distracts me from my depression. Were I not to clean, I'd be glued to my bed all day. We all know how bad that gets for me....

While I was knee deep in dust, Ryan was having fun at Lagoon with all of his coworkers. Lucky boy! He invited me along, but I declined for a number of reasons, mainly Lilly. At around noon, he texted me and told me that I should go and that one of his coworkers had offered to watch her. Tempting, but I was not about to pack up everything necessary to keep a baby sane amongst that kind of heat and noise. I had an amazing day anyway. I got up and lounged about in bed with Lilly again. After her lunch, I worked out and enjoyed her cute smiles from the bed. Then I had lunch while she slept. Since she was still sleeping after lunch, that's when I went into cleaning overdrive. She's been like a different baby in the day ever since we started giving her gas drops. 

 I jokingly asked Ryan to stop at a fast food joint, that, for some reason, I can only get at Lagoon....Teriyaki Stix!! I've been craving it for over a year now, and the dang place is so hard to find. Not only did he get me some, he carried it around with him for a bit until they left the park. What a great hubby!! I felt like Bill Murray in "What About Bob". The entire time I ate, all that could be heard were the joyful "mmm's" and "oooh's" Yum yum! 

Please, don't read the list! Haha! I was able to do about 3/4 of  everything there.....but I think I added another handful of things to do. The list goes on and on and on

My secret addiction