Worst Night of My Life

I can honestly say that last night was one of the worst I've had in a long time...and it has yet to end because I still haven't technically gone to sleep. Here's how it went. Ryan and I went to bed at around 10:30, but my coughing was so severe, it kept both of us up until midnight. It was at that point, when I could tell Ryan was getting frustrated because he was tired, that I decided to be a good wife and sleep on the couch. I tried my darndest to hold back the coughing until I could hear Ryan softly snoring, and then I ran downstairs for the night. And what a night it was. I literally didn't get more than 2 hours of sleep. I'd wake up, cough myself into misery, try and fall back asleep, and jump right back into the furry of coughing. It was so painful. I was just sitting on the couch, slumped into a stupor, when Ryan came down to check on me this morning. He couldn't even get out the words "how are you feeling" before I started sobbing. I begged to go to a doctor, but I knew that he had to work and that he started class today, so it wasn't a possibility. While he ran upstairs to get ready for work, I coughed myself into throwing up again. Only to find that I was throwing up blood. While I was sticking my head in the toilet, Ryan was upstairs preparing the bedroom, after reading some articles on how best to treat this. He moved the humidifier right next to the bed, put in some Vick's vapor inserts, filled my water bottle, and then left me with strict instructions to finish all of the water before he came back to check on me at noon. He just came home and woke me from my stupor. The humidifier only helped me enough to get me to sleep for about an hour, but my coughing is still just as bad and my chest is still just as on fire. I also found out from my mom that the illness going around at work is indeed the flu. Are you kidding me? I called her and broke down crying about how legitimately upset I was at the one person that came in sick. Venting moment: how inconsiderate is it to come into work, knowing you're sicker than sick, and infect an entire office, especially when a young pregnant woman sits right next to you? UGH! I'm mad that I have to take off the entire week of work, I'm mad that mine and my daughter's health are at stake, and I'm mad that I feel like I'm dying. And I'm MAD that my anniversary is this weekend, and I have the freakin' flu! Okay, now that I've upset myself into crying and coughing, I'm going to go back to dying. What a way to start off the new year!



(Day 257)