Today Easton is 1 month old!! I can't even believe it. Thinking back on the events of his birth, I am in awe. I love this little baby more than anything, but he won't even get to know it. It breaks my heart. Even after 1 month, I'm struggling with everything I've been through. They say time heals everything, but maybe it can never make you who you were. I wake up every morning and the first thing I think about is him. Pulling myself out of bed is the hardest part of my day. Life must go on.
I constantly wonder when I will wake up and finally feel happy. At this point, I'm just pretending and hoping that eventually I will start to believe the charade. Every day the pain becomes less and less, and acceptance becomes a greater part of my life. I look forward to the day that I can let go and not feel so guilty. I'm forever a changed person.
No comments:
Post a Comment