Natalie & Ryan: Parenting Fails of 2015...So Far

Hopefully no one from Child Protective Services reads the blog. Since moving into the house, Lilly's gotten hurt the most she has her entire life. Being the good wife I am, I'm blaming Ryan.

Back in June, while putting Lilly to bed and goofing around, Ryan made the mistake that we'd always been warned about: don't yank on kids' arms! Lilly thought she was being silly, pretending to sleep at the bottom of the bed, so Ry yanked her arm, heard a loud pop, and then had a screaming Lilly. He brought her into me, and I determined her arm wasn't broken, but moving her arm or wrist guaranteed some screaming. Just to be safe, Ryan took her to the ER, where they determined that her shoulder was dislocated. It took a quick pop back into place and she was our happy Lilly again. Ryan has since been lectured about rough housing and realizing he's stronger than he thinks.

Now, this most recent injury was the most terrifying yet. As per the norm, I was in the babies' room, jammying Ellie, while Ryan and Lilly were getting into the shower (showering with us is her new favorite). I heard a big THUMP, followed by crying, and I'll be the first to admit that I rolled my eyes at first. I was already over that day. But then I heard a muffled yell from Ryan, that sounded like my name. I yelled back "what?" and waited. Then again I heard "NATALIE!!" in a more panicked tone, almost immediately followed by "NATALIE, COME HERE, HURRY!!" The panic in Ryan's voice made me grab a half-dressed Ellie and go sprinting down the hall to the bathroom. I really wasn't sure what I was going to find. What I walked into made me gasp, and I may have said a profanity or two. Both Ryan and Lilly were naked, and Lilly was POURING blood out of her head. It was even running down Ryan. I grabbed the nearest towel and told Ryan to put pressure on it. I put Ellie in her crib, and ran to find a phone, which inevitably was missing, despite usually having it on me 24/7. I called Cameron (our neighbor) and asked if he could monitor the babies while we went to the hospital. They'd be asleep anyway. Once we calmed down Lilly and got everyone dressed, I was able to rinse the blood out of Lilly's hair to assess the damage. It had stopped bleeding, but it looked deep. I didn't want to risk it, and I was concerned about a concussion.

So, what happened, you ask? Ryan and Lilly had only just stepped into the shower, when Ryan realized there was no soap (it still being packed in the toiletry bag from our trip), so he hopped out to grab it. He explicitly told Lilly to stay in the shower, but our ignore-it-all threenager decided to follow, and slipped. She hit her head on the metal rim of the base of the shower, the track that holds the door shut. It cracked open her head and left a MASSIVE goose egg.

Anyway, once we got her calmed down, she was unusually pleasant. She was complimenting everyone's clothing, telling us how much she liked the furniture in the waiting room at the hospital, and was comforting Bear-bear, as if he were the injured one. It was really sweet. We did a lot of prep-talking on the drive to the hospital. I wanted her to know what might happen, but that mommy and daddy were going to be there, and we were all going to be brave.

The doctor cleaned it out and determined stitches were needed, but recommended staples, since they were faster and less painful/traumatic for a kid her age. With no warning at all, he, armed with a staple gun, popped two in, and we were done. Lilly didn't like the surprise element, but we told her it was all over, and she passed right out on daddy. We were back home in no time. 6 days later, I took her back in to get the staples removed, and the whole thing happened so fast, she didn't even notice. We went and treated ourselves to some cookies after that, since we were BOTH so brave and didn't cry.

If I've learned anything, it's that anything and everything can happen, especially when you least expect it. But like I told Ryan, it could have been so much worse, so we are grateful for tender mercies!

Oh, and I also learned that this was payback for doing a very similar thing to my parents when I was this age. They were loading up the car, all set for a day of golfing, while I played inside Grandma Griffin's house. I was busy running the hallways, trying my best to avoid a nap, when BAM, I ran straight into the corner of a wall and cracked my eyebrow open. My parents heard my screaming from the driveway and came running. Grandma had me laying in her arms, so the blood was pooling in my eye sockets. My mom thought I'd lost an eye. Suffice it to say, they didn't go golfing that day, and I still have a huge scar straight down my eyebrow, always reminding me of my terrible twos. So, I firmly believe this was my payback.

This was after I wiped all the blood off her body and stopped the "blooding" (as Lilly calls it). It was horrifying! Dang head wounds bleed so badly!!