Natalie & Ryan: Please, Sir, Can I Have Some More...Morphine?

Prepare yourself for another post about how Nanny's body is falling apart...

I got up around 9 and immediately noticed that there was a pain I'd never felt before shooting from my lower pelvis, up to my back, festering in my lower back, and then throbbing up into my entire back.It felt kind of like kidney pain. If I moved my legs anywhere away from fetal position (crunched up to my body), it felt like I was tearing the muscles in my uterus. I thought "oh, I'll just sleep it off." And I honestly tried. It wasn't until that pain crippled me into not being able to get out of bed, reaching an 8 or 9 on my pain scale, with so much throbbing, that I worried I could be contracting. All of that, combined with the gallbladder and pancreas problems, I was not doing well. I so didn't want to spend another day in the hospital, having tests that proved nothing, yet still sent me home in the same amount of pain I went in with. So I said a quick prayer and asked the Lord to know what to do. I decided to sit up on the side of the bed (usually the one position that sort of relieves some of my abdominal pain), and it was when the uterine pain became so overwhelming that it made me cry out and burst into tears, I knew that I needed to go into the doctor. But there was the next dilemma. I couldn't move, yet alone drive. I didn't want to pull Ryan out of work, so I called my mom. She was on her way over when I told Ryan that I was going, so he dropped everything and came home too. They both arrived at the same time...and both had fun trying to get me dressed and out the door. I greatly appreciated the gentle haste with which they moved....

When we got to the hospital, Ryan ran in and grabbed me a wheel chair. I immediately asked Ryan if we could buy me one when we got home. :P Once I was "comfortable" in my bed, then the fun really began. I thought I'd just have to pee in a cup like I always did, but no, it couldn't have been that easy. The nurse came in and said literally every word I didn't want to hear...TMI...."First we're going to check to see if you're dilating, then we're going to collect a urine sample, but we have to cath you. Then we're going to ultrasound your gallbladder and pancreas. Oh, and we're also going to take some blood." 4 rounds of intense pain. Each time they did one of those procedures, the nurse just dropped my bed back as quick and flat as it would go. I just started crying because she didn't realize how excruciating that was. After all those tests were finished, they could all see that they'd aggravated my condition to being unbearable, so the doctor offered me some morphine. They couldn't ultrasound my gallbladder for another 4 hours, so she wanted to make sure I was comfortable. I quickly jumped at the morphine...until I found out it required a shot in the hip. Joy. Pain to relieve pain. I endured to the end, and getting that morphine was the light at the end of my tunnel. It immediately made my body feel heavy. I just slumped over and closed my eyes because I couldn't keep my eyes open, or hold my head up. Ryan closed all of the shades and put on "The Hunger Games" book on tape, and I enjoyed a few hours of truly painless rest. All the while, the soothing (to me) "thud, thud, thud, thud" sound of the baby's heartbeat on the monitor kept me at peace. I can honestly say that was the most peaceful, painless, and believe it or not, enjoyable few hours I've had in a long time. Ryan held my hand the entire time, and, when the morphine made me feel hot, he fanned me to cool me off. He was amazing the entire time. I groggily opened my eyes and found that he was looking at me. When he softly smiled at me and gave me that "how you doing?" look, I just started to cry. I felt so lucky to have him by my side. His being there made all of the pain completely irrelevant.

I was pretty out of it when the nurse came in to tell us about what they'd found out from the tests. She tried talking to me, but my eyes kept rolling back into my head and I kept falling back asleep. I did, however, hear her say to Ryan, "she's pretty out of it, so I'll fill you in and have you sign her papers." According to him, the baby was perfectly fine, my tests all came back normal, but she did want me to go and see a gastroenterologist for the pancreas and gallbladder. Those didn't do so well. As far as what was causing the new tearing uterine pain, they weren't sure. Story of my life. Still high on the morphine, Ryan had to get me dressed, in a wheel chair, and into the car. All the while, I was getting super nauseous and dizzy from coming off of the morphine. When we got to the hospital loading zone, Ryan parked my wheelchair in the corner, facing the wall, and he goes "okay, Nanny, you sit here, staring at the wall like an old senile lady while I go get the car." Haha!

Anyways, I don't really remember much up until now. He got me home and tucked me in. The morphine really took it out of me, but I was SO beyond happy that, for once in the entire pregnancy, I didn't feel a single fraction of pain. I asked Ryan if they packed me a doggy bag full of morphine, but he just laughed and killed my spirits with "no." Dang. I know it seems like I "cry wolf" a lot, but I won't ever go into the hospital unless I'm totally scared that something's wrong with the baby, or if I'm in unbearable pain. Today was the latter. I can say that for the first time, I left the hospital in less pain than what I went in with. :P I'm just so happy that both my mom and Ryan came to my rescue. Ryan was so incredibly sweet and supportive. I found myself thinking about how, soon enough, we'd be there for real, and there would be a cute baby in my arms. I seriously can't wait. I'll put up with any and all pain that comes my way, as long as she's healthy.